A Letter to my Mother and Sister.

To Mama, yo! How are yah? We’re fine. Totally fine. Though at times, I wanted to give up already. But hey, don’t you worry okay? We’re strong. So don’t bother yourself thinking about us. We are really fine. Just focus on what you’re doing there. It’s hard for me to listen to you over the phone knowing that you’re crying because of us. I hate it when I’m hearing your cries, you know? It hurts me, too.

I know you can’t read this. But I just wanted my feelings to be written here. I don’t want to bother a friend anymore saying things about what is happening to me. I also can’t say this to you because every time I try to mouth a word, I began to cry. Just stay calm there, keep your focus, and never mind us. I’m sorry Mama for making you worry. It’s really my fault, I guess. The truth is, me too, is facing a hard time about this matter. But don’t worry, I can handle this. I think… ;)

To my sister, hai! You big, silly, careless sister of mine! Hey, I just wanted to say that… You’re a grown up now, right? So it means, you understand our situation. If you find something that irritates you, just ignore it. I know your strong though I know you’re having a hard time too because of this. Just don’t bother yourself with it. You have your friends with you. You can rely to them anytime you want. You can share your problems to them. You can be happy with them. UNLIKE when you’re at home together with me.

Hey, I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me as a SISTER. I’m sorry because you can’t rely on me like you can to your friends. I’m sorry for not listening to your problem, if there is. I’m sorry for not being a sister to you. I know from the very start that you hated me since then because of my attitude. But I want you to know that, even though I can’t be the best SISTER that you wish for, and even though I act like I don’t care about you, remember this…

I won’t let you suffer. You and Mama, I won’t leave you. I will protect you. So Sorry, for everything. Be strong, please? We can do it. GOD IS WITH US.

From now on, I don’t need a brother. Just the three of us, we can do it.