What must I say?

Months had passed and I’m still trying to think of what I should put here in my blog. I admit that I don’t have enough inspiration to write or enough motivation to create some masterpieces to share here and yeah I just feel like floating every day — aside from being busy in school (and hooray! There are only few days left before graduation!).

Truthfully speaking, I think I already forgot how to write and put my feelings into words. There were nights that I really wanted to finish a chapter or an essay — a poem at least, but I always ended up staring the monitor for hours. I feel disappointed and frustrated that I have many pending works in my folder. I’m thinking maybe reality are slowly kicking in, and I am gradually entering the real world — which means no more day dreaming and childish stuff – whatsoever.

Well, many things happened and many things have changed in terms of my lifestyle, perception in life, and sensitivity to the people around me — and I still don’t know if it’s for the better… or worse.

As I type this, I am thinking the down moments I had last year. The most “painful” month for me was approaching soon and I am grateful to say that I was able to recover quickly. My broken heart was healed faster than I expected. Though there are still some times that I remember every painful things I experienced, but managed to overcome with the help of my friends and family — good bye to a broken heart and an unclear mind!

These past few months weren’t easy too, though. My bags under my eyes became luggage due to the making of our thesis. It was a hell week for us. We weren’t able to have a normal sleep during those moments and we considered ourselves lucky if we can have at least an hour of nap. And yes friends, thesis can destroy friendship! But since we’re close enough to talk about issues, we managed to finish it still friends. He he he.

I can’t make a list of all what happened but this one thing made me bothered big time:

A friend confessed his feelings to me.

At first, I thought it was only a joke (because I am used to him being the joker of the class) and I was confidently riding it without any meaning. So when the day came that he said he really have a feeling for me, that was when I became bothered. I said it was fine for me that he has feelings and agreed to act cool about it and stay friends for now, but honestly, it wasn’t easy to be around him for days. I can feel the awkwardness and discomfort between the two of us and I’m not used to that. Tho I can see that he’s trying to talk to me about that matter but still, I feel anxious. But yeah, every thing could be settled in a sensible talk and conversation so we’re okay now… as friends. Honestly, I was willing to entertain him (if he’s really gonna woo me) and was hoping for something to bloom but then I realized, I am not yet ready for another love and deep relationship. My family and career is my focus for now.

Anyways, my favorite moment so far is our Sakbay and Toga pictorial. We had our official Sakbay pictorial last March 16 and last week was our not-so-official-coz-we-just-set-up-a-studio Toga pictorial in a classmate’s house. Happiness is all over me because I can finally sense the success!!! Kidding. But uhuh, the pictures always put a smile on my face whenever I see them in my laptop just waiting for the right time to upload. Hihihi.

And oh! Of course! My favorite too was that I got the chance to visit Puerto Princesa, Palawan last February with my co-school publication staffers and editors for the 16th Luzonwide Press Conference! Tho I wasn’t able to win the the category I joined, still, I’m happy to finally get to ride an airplane! It was a wonderful experience for me! Yay!

I am excited too for the grad ball and the graduation day! I am excited for the dresses I will be wearing, for the pictures I will be taking, for the food that I will be eating, and for the moments that I will be creating and capturing with my friends inside and outside the school.

And of course, I am excited for the road I will be taking after graduation. :)

August Update!

August have been pretty good to me, I can say.  There came so many activities (and legal holidays) that suspended the classes for almost one week, and it was fun to stay at home during those days. But now that August is about to end, and I seemed to forgot to update this blog, I am here to tell you a story (whut) on what happened to my August in pictures!

august 2

Augsut 2, 2014. Dong-A hosted a doodle competition in SM Taytay. Since it’s Saturday, and some of my classmates were joining, I also went to watch them compete. But a sudden change of plan was made, and I also became one of the participants in the said event. I don’t know if luck was with me or it was just my day that I belong to the people who won! Yay ‘di ba. Ang saya saya. Tas kasama pa siya. Mas masaya!

august 8

August 8, 2014. It was intramural’s week, though we’re still required to attend classes. My close friend Rona, joined the volleyball team of our department, and as a friend, I did my best to support and cheer for her! lol. She got included to the mythical six! Hooray. And hooray for the CAL’s students for being the champion again.

august 12

August 12, 2014.  I went to my favorite place with B because the next [day[ is our day. We talked about some things, mostly nonsense stuff, and ate isaw isaw. My favorite part was we went to “dulo” and watched the sun set. I always feel happy when I’m with him, even though most of the time, there’s a total silence between us when we’re together. Pero hindi naman awkward, in fact I love it. I only need him beside me, yun lang naman.

We went to plaza after, then continued talking. It was also the day that I saw him cry for the first time (for some topic that I insisted) and it hurts me too, seeing him cry.

10649508_900523989962627_7515953761694322608_nAugust 19, 2014. The Campus Ministry in school (the Soul Surfers) hosted a feeding program. I’m not really an officially member of the group but since it’s my dream to be a part of a feeding program, I asked my boyfriend if I could come along with them and he said yes so I brought some classmates too! It was really a good and happy experience, feeding the children and sharing them the Word of God. ♥

994184_900021340012892_2262460084188852870_n

August 23, 2014. I had a date with these two ladies! (that’s me in the middle). We haven’t bond for months because of our busy schedules, but nothing can stop our wants to be with each other so yeah. Haha. We went to boulevard in San Juan (again) and ate fishballs and laughed at things and took some pictures and laughed again bc of the pictures. I just love laughing with them so much. ♥

august 25August 25, 2014. Monday morning, I woke up feeling itchy and some part of my body were swollen. Allergy sucks, big time! So I sent a message to mommy telling her to bring me to the hospital as soon as she wake up. The doctor injected me some anti allergy directly to my hand’s vein and I swear it hurts soooo much that I cried after! I stayed in the emergency room (bc that’s the only available room for walk in patients) for almost half an hour. I wanted to sleep but I don’t want to sleep there so I insisted mommy to go home instead. After two hours, my swollen face and hands came back to normal but I still feel itchy.

But thank God I am okay now.

august 28

August 28, 2014. I feel down for almost three days bc I am missing him. He’s too busy that we couldn’t even say hi to each other at school. lels. Two days before, he borrowed my flash drive to get his homework that was in my laptop for days, then returned it to me on the 28th. He told me to open a particular folder, and look for something inside.

I found a typed letter from him.

Another year! :)

Hello, Worpy! Happy new year! It’s my third year blogging here, but sad to say, I wasn’t able to make my 2013’s review. I was so busy doing some stuff. Plus mama came home so I didn’t have time to use AYS for three weeks. Hehez. Anyways, I’ll still try to make a review of what happened last year. But here are some photos taken when we were celebrating new year’s eve! There were no decent photos, sorry, only fireworks!

???????????????????????????????

???????????????????????????????

???????????????????????????????

???????????????????????????????

And uhm, I was so happy while watching the fireworks. I was talking to someone over the phone, and the thought of two people were watching the fireworks in two different places but looking at the same black sky while saying nothing but still the call is running (? xD) is so nakakakilig to me. Haha

hohoho

And uh, here’s a happy new year’s eve pictures from me and my family! :)

A Week in Photos

It’s Sunday today — church day and supposed to be a ‘rest’ day for me but I forgot to do my other assignments yesterday so I’ll do it latuuur. Anyway, I have here some photos (and their stories) to share in this blog! And also, I decided to update my Worpy blog every week (every Saturday or Sunday)! I’ll just collect the photos (and their stories haha) and post them here. Isn’t it amazing? Lol. But anyway, let’s start!

wpid-IMG_20130615_002107.jpg

I already finished ‘The Time Keeper’ by Mitch Albom last week. I also would like to make a book review about it but sad to say, I don’t have much time so I’ll just say that this book is really great! It reveals (or uhm, I couldn’t remember the right term. Haha) the true value and meaning of ‘Time’ — that you must cherish it and spend it in most important ways/things in your life (coz that’s what I understood in the book).

My favorite line is, “it is not to late or too soon, it is when it is supposed to be.”

wpid-CYMERA_20130620_221532.jpg

Okay, so this picture (or drawing) was made last Monday (or Tuesday? Omyglob, I cannot remember).

We were sitting quietly on our chairs then suddenly my classmate took a piece of big paper (looks like a sketchpad) at the back and then we saw a drawing of a half-faced man in orange color pencil. I asked if I could take a look and he gave me the paper. I took my pencil in my bag and decided to continue the other side. And yeah, it turned like that. Well, I already made a “collab” art in one of my co-FA students (tho I don’t knoe who drew the (orange one) other face) Haha!

wpid-20130619_115410.jpg

Wednesday, a bipolar day (coz it’s raining then suddenly it will stop and then it will rain again -__-). No profs showed up, except to our loyal Drawing Fundamentals and Typography prof, Ma’am Angie, and our Modeling and Color Theory prof Ms. Arlene. They’re both our major subjects hoho. The picture were taken during our lunch break, we decided to eat in plaza even tho it’s drizzling (what? Ahaha. A little rain, you know, a drizzle. Haha!) And yes, mabuti na lang vain din sila kahit papano, napicture-an ko. Hihi

wpid-20130620_093009.jpg

Thursday, we had our orientation and re-orientation program inside the gym. The profs explained some things that I barely understood coz I’m talking with someone (a good student here haha) and after that we did the election of the class officers. I am elected as Sgt. Of Arms in girls (uso pa pala Sgt of Arms sa college), and my crush was elected in boys. Heheee. :’3

wpid-C360_2013-06-20-20-09-12-532.jpg

Our prof in Modeling/Color Theory showed up that Thursday, and we made some activities. A color blind test in CT and a… well, a, an activity with a wire.

I actually wanna make a flower but my classmate was already doing it so I thought of making a bunny but I didn’t like it so I made a sando but it’s ugly and then I made it a crooked heart. But actually it has a meaning, that crooked heart. But it’s personal so I won’t tell. Haha! (And I guess ang baba ng gradr ko sa activity na yan. Huehue)

wpid-20130621_172426.jpg

Friday, my not so “lucky” day I went to school to get my uniform and waited for almost 5 hours but unluckily, i didn’t get anything coz my sizes isn’t available yet. Hay, how I wish I was small!

In the afternoon, we (my sister and I) went to Guadalupe to adjust my braces. We ate at Jollibee and if it wasn’t for Kline (my crush in Guada Jollibee haha) my Friday afternoon will be ruined. It took us 2 hours to get to our destination and guess whatttt!!! (What?) There were no available jeepneys and so we walked! My feet hurts. Parang Angono to Taytay lang ang dating nung layo. :( But my day was still okay. Thanks to some people who effortlessly made me laugh thru text. :)

cats

20130622_171323

 

Saturday, I woke up early in the morning, and I was to post this blog yesterday but my internet died. We clean the house instead and ate lunch. I asked dude if she can accompany me to buy the watercolor I needed to do my assignment and she said yes, so I met with her in plaza by the flag at 3pm. We went straight to Wawa afterwards and then stayed at the tower, talked about something and laughed. I loved the view over there (look at those buildings in the pic), there’s only a part where it’s raining and then we noticed that it’s moving until the rain came to our place then the heavy rain poured. Haha, gets?

Some random guy asked my number too and I can’t help but to laugh coz it was the first time that someone asked my number. lol. We went home when the rain stopped.

So that was how my week went. I decided to spend this day doing assignments and editing my stories. I am hoping for a productive day today! :)

 

 

Hey Worpy, buhay pa ako. Huwag kang mag-alala (‘yon ay kung nag-aalala ka)

Uy, kamusta ka naman ha? Pasensiya na’t hindi na kita nabibigyang pansin nitong mga nakaraang araw at linggo. Bisi (busy) kasi ako sa kung ano (kunwari meron kahit wala) . Kaya ayun, hindi na kita masiyadong naa-apdeyt (update). Kaya ayun, nandito ako para magkuwento ng kung anong nangyayari sa akin buhay-buhay. Ayoko kasing ikuwento ito sa tumblr dahil…ewan. Hindi ko feel doon. Hindi ko na feel doon!!

Ano bang bago? Ah, wala naman. Ay mali, meron pala! Hindi ba nagda-drama ako nung nakaraan tungkol sa kagustuhan kong pumasok ulit ng kolehiyo? Eh ngayon matutupad na! Pero hindi pa din sigurado. Nung nakaraang Abril 19 kasi ay kumuha ako ng eksam sa URSA – isang malapit na Unibersidad sa amin, as in super lapit lang. Walking distance ba! At ayun, sakto lang ang eksam. Pero kung makakapasa ako ay matatawag kong “chamba” lang yon. Syempre biro lang, nag-aral at naghanda naman ako kahit papano bago ang araw na iyon. Sabi nga ni Kuya Jomz… “Fight no battle unprepared” kaya naman nagprepare ako kahit papano. Keyword: kahit papano.

Magkakaron din kaming magkaka-klase nung highschool ng isang swimming kaso negative ako. Panigurado hindi ako makakasama. Una, dahil wala akong pera; Pangalawa, alam kong hindi ako papayagan at; Pangatlo, wala lang. Hindi ko lang feel sumama. Pero baka magbago ang isip ko, ilang araw pa naman ang lilipas. Medyo matagal pa naman ang 25, hindi ba?  23 pa lang naman ngayon eh. Meron pa akong dalawang araw para magbago ng isip, handa naman daw akong pautangin ng mabait kong pinsan-pinsanan na si Shiela. Pero duda ulit ako, malamang hindi na magbabago ang aking isip. Hindi talaga ako sasama.

Sinali din ako ni ate MJ — isang blogger na nakilala sa sa Tumblr — sa isang grupo sa FB na ang layunin ay magpalaganap ng mabubuting gawain (imbento ko lang, pero ganun naman kasi ang nakikita ko eh). Samahan ito ng mga bloggers  sa Tumblr, WordPress o mapa-Blogspot man. Nakakatuwa dahil ang tagal ko ng gustong makasali sa mga ganitong grupo o (ano pa bang pwede kong itawag? Hindi kasi malawak ang kaalaman ko sa mga salita -__-) samahan na tumutulong sa kapwa ng walang bayad. Hindi  pa naman ako opisyal na miyembro nila pero wala lang, natutuwa lang talaga ako na nasali ako sa ganon. Nabasa ko yung nakaraang activity nila sa blog ni ate MJ at talagang napahanga at na-excite ako. Sana sa susunod na aktibidad nila’y makasama ako. Pero ulit, ako’y duda dahil isa lamang akong dakilang tambay sa bahay na umaasa lamang sa ibibigay ng magulang para magkapera. Paano naman ako makakapunta sa mga meetings nila, ‘di ba? Nakapanliliit din dahil parang ang gagaling nilang mag-blog. Hay, pero sabi nga nila… “Kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto palaging merong paraan.” Kaya gagawan ng paraan, sir!

Malapit na din akong umalis sa Wattpad. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla na lang akong napagod sa pagsusulat. Bigla akong nagsawa ba, pero hindi ko naman alam kung bakit. Gustong gusto ko talagang iwan at burahin ang account ko don pero hindi ko naman magawa. Kaya nagpahinga muna ako. Hindi ko na siya (ang aing account) nabubuksan ng mga ilang araw na. Pero nagbabasa naman ako don ng mga story gamit ang ibang account. Hindi naman big deal, pero kinuwento ko lang.

Speaking ng pagsusulat. Gumagawa na naman ako ng isa pang istorya. Hey! Mr. Painter! ang title niya. Sa totoo lang natapos ko na ang pagbuo ng plot (ito ang unang beses na gawin ko ‘yon, yung gumawa ng plot, sa isang story. Dahil hindi naman talaga ako gumagawa ng plano. Basta kapag naisip ko yung konsepto, ginagawa ko na. Pero ngayon siyempre iba) Sa kuwentong ito, kung magkakaroon kayo ng pagkakataong mabasa ‘yon, ay makikilala niyo kung sino ako. Obvious naman kasi na ako na naman ang bida dito. Pero siyempre, ang kaibahan nito sa iba kong kuwento ay… hindi ko alam. Haha! Biro lang. Siyempre iba ito sa iba kong kuwento. Dito kasi makikita ang realidad. Makikilala niyo ako, kung paano gumising sa umaga; kung ano ang pakiramdam bilang isang graduate ng 2-year-vocational-computer-programming-course pero walang trabaho; kung paano ko harapin ang kada araw ng buhay ko; kung gaano ko kahilig na matupad na makapag-aral ng Fine Arts; kung gaano ako kahopeless romantic. Merong tatlong lalaki sa kuwento: Si Jeremy, si Stanley, at si Vin. Si Jeremy, kathang isip lang siya. Kumabaga, siya yung lalaking gusto kong makilala at maging kaibigan. Si Stanley, isang kaibigan sa Tumblr siya, pero hindi iyon ang kanyang pangalan ha… at si Vin, siyempre, si Vincent Kristan Quilop ‘yon (imaginary character)! Ang idol kong sobra sa pagdo-drawing. Pero syempre iniba ko din ang pangalan niya dun, Vincent Kristan pa din pero hindi na yun ang apelyido niya. Grabe naman kung gagamitin ko ng buong buo ang pangalan niya, ‘di ba? Baka makasuhan pa ako. lol. At about dun sa flow ng story… siyempre lahat yun imagination ko lang. Sabi ko nga, kung magkakaroon kayo ng pagkakataong mabasa ‘yon, eh malalaman niyong (kung hindi ko sasabihin, pero sinabi ko kaya alam niyo na) na ‘yon yung mga bagay na gusto kong mangyari sa buhay ko. Hehee~ May sense pa ba itong sinasabi ko? Parang wala na. haha!

Uuwi si ate Ni sa 26 (ilang araw na lang!) para magswimming kami at dala niya ang bago kong selpon. Binilhan kasi ako ni mama ng bago. Malagpasan niya kaya ang record ng ilang taon ko ng selpon na si Nokiya ekspresmyusik? Sana.

Dear Worpy,

I’m in the midst of stress and depression, isama mo pa ang frustration, ngayon. Wala kasi akong mapagsabihan eh. Puwede bang dito na lang?

Umiiyak ako ngayon. Umiiyak na naman ako ngayon. Kaiiyak ko lang kagabi eh! Tch. Ngayong araw ko kasi binitawan yung kagustuhan kong mag-aral ulit. Si Mama eh, magulong kausap. Kaya sabi ko ayoko na kahit gustong gusto ko talaga. Ha-ha! Hindi naman big deal, pero parang big deal sa akin. Alam mo yung… nag-iisip ako na… Yung iba nga eh walang pampaaral pero nagagawan ng paraan. Yung tipong nagwoworking student, nagta-trabaho kahit hirap na hirap na makapag-aral lang. Kung tutuusin puwedeng puwede ko naman gawin ‘yon eh. Kulang lang talaga ako sa determinasiyon at lakas ng loob. Pero sabi ko nga, talagang… iba lang yung meron kang “full support” na naggagaling sa parents mo. (pero yung iba walang parents ‘di ba?) but hey, it’s not the point. Iba yung sinasabi kong “support”. I hope you get me.

Ito pa, napag-isip-isip ko na din kasi, yung iba ngang graduate ng 4 years hanggang ngayon walang work eh. Pero yung ibang hindi nakatapos ng college eh may work naman. Ang ewan lang eh ‘no? Pero kasi, iba pa din talaga para sa akin na may pinanghahawakan ako. Sa akin lang ‘yon eh. Once na makapagtapos ako ng 4 years eh feeling ko iba. Iba talaga ang dating sa akin. Pero wala eh, kung mag-aaral ako ulit, lalo akong manliliit. Bakit kasi hindi na lang ako kumuha ng 4 year course nung una pa lang ‘di ba? Ayan, pakiramdam ko tuloy napag-iiwanan na ako. Haay life, bakit ko ba ginagawang komplikado ang lahat? Tch.

Sabi nila maging praktikal daw. Kaya sige hindi na ako naghangad na makakapagtapos ako ng may degree. Okay na sa akin yung nakatapos ako ng vocational. Okay na sa akin yung nakatungtong ako sa stage na nakaitim na damit at may hawak na diploma. Pero biglang in-open up eh. Tinanong ako kung gusto ko pa daw mag-aral ulit. Siyempre um-oo ako! Ang saya-saya ko na. Kasi puwede na akong maging fine arts or journalist student, alinman sa dalawa, pero boom! Biglang sinabi na kapag balik first year ako eh HUWAG NA LANG DAW. Ehh ano ‘yon? Malamang balik first year ako non! Malamang iilan lang ang subject kong mace-credit nung first year. Wala pa ngang 20 ang units namin ‘non eh. Tch. Mga anim lang ang subject na pinag-aaralan namin non. Kaya ayun, nabigo ulit ako. Umasa ako eh. Akala ko okay na sa kanya, okay naman daw sa kanya kasi gusto niya kahit na kaming dalawa lang ng kapatid kong babae ang makapagtapos ng 4 years sa amin. Pero eh huwag na lang. Nawalan ako ng pag-asa. Pero heto patuloy na umaasa naman. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Sobrang naguguluhan ako. Nakailang hingi na ako ng payo. Sabi nila sundin ko daw ang puso ko. Pero paano nga kasi???? Paano ba sundin ang puso??? Ilang araw na akong tuliro kakaisip nito. Kung maraming marami lang sana akong pera edi sana hindi na ako namomroblema ‘di ba? Pero hindi naman talaga ‘to problema eh. Mas malaki pa yung problema nung iba. Sadyang ginagawa ko lang kumplikado ang lahat. But what can I do? I can’t help not to think of it. It’s a matter of choosing between the things that you want to do and the things that THEY WANT you to do kasi ang dating eh. Kaya heto, litong lito na ako.

Sa sobrang lito ko na eh parang gusto ko na lang mag disappear na parang bula! Gusto ko nang lisanin ang Earth! Gusto ko nang madedo. Para kung hindi ko man magawa yung mga gusto ko o hindi ko man magawa yung mga gusto nila eh walang sisihan na mangyayari. Tahimik pa ang buhay ko.

Hay life, parang buhay.

Idagdag mo pa yung wala akong makitang trabaho! Nyemas lang ‘di ba?! I feel so useless!!!! Nakakahiya ka, Rizza. ><

Diary101: 030713

It was a good day. My sister and I went outside for some… matters.  School matters. Mama was thinking if I should go back to school or work instead. Ugh. She’s soooo pickle-minded. She asked me if I want to go back to school again and of course I said yeah! But she said if I am going to be a freshman again, she said never mind. Hay. Pinaasa niya lang ako. </3 Then I remembered this classmate of mine who didn’t go to college but now has a work. See? See? Daig pa akong nakatapos ng 2 years!!! Hanggang ngayon wala pa akong work!!!! Hay. That’s why I was so confused yesterday and needed to unwind.

???????????????????????????????

???????????????????????????????I asked my sister, after we went to a school near town if it’s okay for her to accompany me, again, to my favorite place. She totally agreed with me and so we went home first and got my camera. We bought halo-halo on the way, too.

???????????????????????????????We hurriedly went upstairs to the lighthouse or tower (errrr, i don’t want to call it a light house or tower because it doesn’t look like a light house or a tower for me *it’s a second story building only!*but they’re calling it a lighthouse or tower so yeah I should call it a lighthouse or tower too) and took a sight of the surroundings. Me and sister were the only people up there so I sang! and sang and sang and sang until it started to rain. Haha! And look at my feet! I know, I know… They’re BIG.

???????????????????????????????Some children, all gradeschoolers, went up to the lighthouse, too. They were staring at the buildings over there (you can’t see it, the city was full of smoke and it’s color grey!! so yeah) and they all said they wanted to go to Manila when they grow up. I wanted to butt in and say that it’s better here. But I don’t want to ruin their day dreaming so I didn’t. lol. Some of the girls also shouted “I LOVE YOU *the name of their crush in school*” before going down. Haha! I can see myself back then to them. I remembered when I was in grade 3, I also shouted “I LOVE YOU…” and the name of my crush at the end together with my friends! What  a shame! Hah

???????????????????????????????I saw a couple. And of course, I thought myself, again, also standing there with the man I love. Oh how hopeless! Tch.

???????????????????????????????

???????????????????????????????

After an hour, we decided to take a walk. My sister took a shot on this “quote” that says “KEEP MOVING”, the motto or our t

???????????????????????????????I want to take a bokeh picture but it’s failed. Huh

???????????????????????????????And it’s me!! I stand up like a boy, you know? Hah

???????????????????????????????Ah yes, she’s my sister and that’s me over there! Like an autistic. lol

???????????????????????????????I have a big nose and a dirty eyeglass. Hee-hee.

???????????????????????????????And there it goes… my favorite place in the view of my eyeglass. Lol! I told yah, it was a great day! :)

P.S. tomorrow is Mama’s birthday! I don’t know what to give her. </3

Surprise Birthday Party for Mommy! (030313) :”>

???????????????????????????????

So uhm, we celebrated mommy’s birthday yesterday! We ate lunch at SM Taytay. It was a surprise lunch but mommy isn’t that surprised because she had a hint! Hoho. But anyway, it’s still a surprise. Hehe. Pahirapan pa nga na mapapayag sina Mommy ate Daddy eh! lol.

IMG_5478

IMG_5458

IMG_5480

We ate at Max’s. They made an early reservation there and ordered a cake a week before in Red Ribbon. I love the flavor :”>

IMG_4473-horz

Hey! It’s mommy and my gift to her! Teehee.

IMG_5400

Sahxia! She’s my 2 years old niece. *u*

IMG_5421

And there’s me. Huhu. I hate my tummy! Haha. xD

???????????????????????????????

IMG_5422

IMG_5439

It’s the plate of my sister. Look how she loves to eat chicken! Lalala, she hates fish btw. I don’t know what’s wrong with her tummy.

IMG_5472

IMG_5473

IMG_5484

Then after we eat, we went to a studio for picture taking. I won’t upload the pictures here, coz I’m ugly! Hahaha. I took the picture (above). They’re on the second floor and I’m on the 1st. Huhuhu sayang wala ako. Hay. Then, we went home. :)

That Night in 8th of December

I didn’t really expected that something will happen to me that night. I actually planned to go to SM and see some books to read, but everything turned up side down, literally. My world turned upside down that night. It’s 6:10pm, the first highway accident of my life.

The last thing I remember, I bid good bye to my friend and started to walk. I was about to cross the wide highway, too. I’m on pedestrian, of course. And good thing, my friend has already left and didn’t saw me lying there, staring up the black sky and soon to lose my conscious. It’s weird, but I’m glad he already left.

And then, everything turned slow motion, just like in movies.

The next thing I knew, I was lying — lying on the wide highway, feeling numb and can’t hear anything. I started to tremble, thinking about my head. It’s the first one to hit the ground. I thought it was bleeding, but thank God it wasn’t. My vision was starting to go black too, but I needed to stay awake because I have no one to call for help. That’s what I thought. I’m afraid that the people around me might take my wallet and all my belongings while having no conscious. So I stayed awake, thinking random things.. just to know I’m still alive. I thought all of the names I know. I said it to myself… just to myself.

“God, Lord, Jesus Christ, help me.” I said. And I know he will.

I breathed in and out. Trying to move both my hands and my feet. I’m still lying on the ground. Afraid. Scared. Pitying myself. But none of them move. It’s like I’m in comma but hoping that I’m not. One girl approached me and asked me if I’m okay. I just nod.. though I know I’m not okay. Another girl went to me, she’s holding my eyeglass. I realized that I’m not wearing my glasses anymore. She gave me my glasses and I wore it, trying to sit down. But I can’t. So the first girl told someone to help me, and they all help me stand up. I cannot move my left foot. It hurts like hell. I thought it’s broken, but expecting that it’s not.

I was in shock. Poker face is the right term. My lips were aligned, my eyes were blinking, trying not to shed any tears. But I failed, I started to speak and bawled in front of them. “Call mommy please..” I said. And then, they carried me to the near Hospital.

One hour, I stayed there for one hour, silently crying and waiting for my relatives to come. The girl who brought me there was contacting someone. She stayed there with me until the daughter of the owner of the motorcycle who hit me came. I was silent. I did some multiplication tables, Addition, Subtraction, thinking names, events, and even the plots of the stories I read before the accident, I thought all of them. Just assuring myself that I don’t have amnesia or something. And I’m glad I don’t, only bruises and wounds, and a big lump on my head. I’m still lucky tho.. Coz I’m still alive and hopefully to kick soon. I still can’t move my left leg normally. ;)

My Daddy and my Sister came. I can’t paint their faces, they are worried that’s for sure. My daddy talked to the daughter of the culprit. And my sister was talking to me, she said that Mommy was worried sooo much. And I’m sure Mama will worry too if she knew. All of them were worried, my brother and my ate len came.

They did some X-rays to me. And I’m crying while they do that. My head hurts like hell and feeling cold. Someone injected me anti-tetanus, too. It aches.. like there’s a big ant in my two shoulders. The doctor said I can go home, and I’m glad. I don’t want to be admitted, and there’s no reason too.  We rode a taxi and went home. My daddy went to the precinct and talked to the one who did this to me. My niece and nephews are all shouting my name when I came home, they looked happy when they saw me. I smiled… They’re weird. But I’m happy… to know that they care for me and love me.

And because of that accident, I realize that I’m afraid to forget, and to be forgotten even though I thought of having an amnesia sometimes; I realize that I’m afraid of death, too. And I’m planning to live for as long as I can, for the people I love, and for myself as well.

Just an update.

I’m not in the mood.. This picture is from last, last day(?) Not sure when.. I just feel dizzy and dreary today. I’m sick. I have cough and cold. My premolars, both left and right are now gone. We also went to Guadalupe and we need to be back there on Saturday. This post is just an update. Until now I’m not yet done with the artworks I planned to do. Supposedly, it will be posted here by this week but I think It’ll be moved due to my busy schedule. (wow lang ah). And yeah before I forgot, it’s Lei dudE’s birthday tomorrow! We made plans. And she’s gonna be here to celebrate her birthday with me! <3 I’m excited!