Lady Bird: Movie Review

At first I thought it was just another film about religion, with a rebel high school teenager as a protagonist who goes to a catholic school and is way too hard-headed to obey her parents, especially her mother, BUT it was not JUST about that. Well, it’s a bit cliche (with a glyph at the e): an average teenage girl who wants to experience everything — luxury, love, belongingness — but this movie has something unique everyone can relate to. And oh, this film’s a bit musical too.

ladybirdposterWell, the very first reason why I watched this movie is because of the main character: Saoirse Ronan aka Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson in the movie. I learned the film from, of course, researching about her upcoming movies, and patiently waited for it.

lady bird

I was so curious about the title. I thought it was just because it’s the “name” Christine wanted for herself, but looking back to a children song which goes “Lady bird, lady bird, fly away home”, it makes sense. And I think this is the perfect title for this movie. I don’t want to explain further, because it will create “spoilers” lol. You go watch it by yourself.

One of the things that I liked about this movie, is the way it deliver the feelings to the watchers. Kudos to the actors, they did a great job, and of course to the Director, Ms. Greta Gerwig, for creating such a masterpiece. The cinematography too is good! The scenes are kinda “indie-like” but not much because it also creates “mainstream” vibes. And oh, what makes it cool is the movie was set in 2002.

ladybird2

It tackles about the love of a family, the love for a friend, the love that you have for yourself — I love the moment Lady Bird realized she don’t need the people in the limelight to also be recognized, and the moment she accepted Danny’s (Lucas Hedges) apology and promised she would keep his secret safe — and the love for what you have.

ladybird3

I can also relate and can see myself to Lady Bird. I also loved to join theatres, I also wanted to go to a prestigious art school in college, I was also an average, I also longed for luxurious stuff, and got envious to the people who can afford something more than what I have. You know, typical teenager. But I love her characteristic. How impulsive she is (Lady Bird) when mad, and also soft and apologetic when she realized she was wrong. The swirling throw of emotions made me want to watch more.

The portrayal of characters are good. Julie (Beanie Feldstein), her best friend, is one of my favorite. She’s the kind of people who always accept you back even though you already walk away from her.

ladybird4

I also love the clashing but complementing character of Lady bird and her mother. Watching her (Laurie Metcalf), she portrays a very strong, prideful but deep inside, warm and understanding personality of a mother who will do everything for her child’s happiness and good future.

ladybird5

I cried watching this. There are too many scenes that I did relate to. I can say that this movie was the most satisfying (because for a fact that I did relate to this), yet a bit frustrating (I believe it has an open ending) film that I watched so far this 2018.

All in all, if there are 5 stars in front of me now and I have to color them yellow, I will draw another one beside the last star. Hehehe.

I am excited to the other movies Ronan will be starring. Gonna look forward for moooooore!

 

 

Advertisements

2017 Summary

It’s 2018 already, yet I haven’t posted anything here since I became busy with adulting. How I wish I could go back to my high school or college days (minus the pressuring part and all), but yeah, everything is a process, I know I’ll get by soon.

Well, I thought about blogging the summary of my 2017, but I couldn’t managed to just list the highlights and compress everything in bullets. So I made it by months. Let’s start!

January

Went to Lucban, Quezon to join the Regional Higher Education Press Conference for the last time. Looking back, it’s a happy and sad memory for me. I still couldn’t believe that it would be my last time joining contests as a representative of our school publication. I’m happy that I experienced everything with my co-editors and staff, and sad because most of us were candidates for graduation, and we will soon leave the school.

February

There were so many things to remember in this month. First was our final defense. I couldn’t forget the feeling and emotions it brought us, especially to me. I was really pressured to the point that I couldn’t sleep a day before our defense, and I almost cried (I think I really cried) after because I felt that I didn’t do my best during our research. But there’s nothing to regret about. Just like my friend is always saying, it is your best that time. Second was the music video making. It’s really not about the ‘we need to win this’, it’s about the bond that we shared and made during the making of that music video. (Now I’m missing the people I always share ideas with when creating short films huhu). Third was, of course, going to Palawan. Since I got 4th place during the RHEPC, I also got the privilege to join the Luzonwide Higher Education Press Conference!

March

Hardbound days. Requirements week. Hell month. Lol. Just kidding. Too many emotions this month brought me. Excitement, fear, nervousness, exhaustion… etc. But my favorite was the pictorial for graduation and the hardbound part of our thesis!!!

April

Obviously, my favorite is the graduation. I think this is the most beautiful moment that happened to me in 2017. Every hardships, sleepless nights, stressful days were all worth it. This month was also the month my mother decided to stay home for good. Really happy that we’ll get to be with her every day.

May

Uhm, nothing much happened in May.

June

Struggled finding jobs that suits my course and passion. lol. but yeah, this month, I received a job offer from the company that I am now working at.

July

Aside from this is my birth month, it’s also my first month in the company that hired me. It’s not easy at first, I must say. And I’m still adjusting now. Thank God that He didn’t let me go through this by myself.

August

Uhhh, I couldn’t say that the highlight of this month was meeting Robinsons, but it seemed to be it. lol. But uh, idk. Mga panahong ito ako nalito sa feelings ko eh.

September

I learned how to read and write Baybayin! Haha. Now I can curse everytime using it. LOL just kidding.

October

I held Ulap’s hand. That was also the first time that he leaned on my shoulder and worded my name on repeat. He was drunk at that time.

November

Time when I almost gave up on work but glad that I didn’t. Anxiety attacked.

December

I received the most wonderful present. I am now for regularization. All the hopeless feelings and anxiety were all worth it. I did learn from my mistakes and because of that, I strived hard to be better at work. And I will still strive harder this time.

I know my 2017 wasn’t as colorful as others but for me, it’s still memorable. I both lost and gained something in 2017. And I now look forward for a better year to experience, with, i hope, the same people I was with last year and new people i am going to meet this year. :)

Sandali

Tumawa siya at sinabayan ang iba. Madilim na, subalit may sapat na ilaw na nanggagaling sa kisame upang makita ang saya sa mga mukha ng kaniyang kasama. 

Kasabay ng malalakas na halakhak ang pagbuhos ng ulan sa labas, dahilan kung bakit nakakulong sa mainit at hindi kalakihang kuwarto ang mga sabik nilang katawan sa hamog ng gabi. Buhay na buhay pa rin ang paligid kahit na lagpas alas dos na ng madaling araw. 

Sandali siyang napatigil sa pagtawa, at tumingin sa dakong unahan upang tingnan ang kaisa-isang mukha na gustung-gusto niyang palaging pinagmamasdan. 

Sa sandaling iyon ay pawang panandalian ding tumigil ang pagtibok ng kaniyang puso. 

Umiwas siya ng tingin. Hindi niya kinaya ang pagkapaso niya sa mga titig na sumalubong sa kaniyang pagsulyap. Kasabay nito ay pagdadalawang isip at pagtataka. Totoo nga bang nakatitig ito sa kaniya? Ngunit bakit? Para makasiguro ay tumingin siyang muli.

Muling tumama sa kaniya ang dalawang bola ng apoy at isang malalim na titig galing sa taong nagpapawala ngayon ng kaniyang dibdib. Nawala lahat ng ingay. Nanlamig ang kaniyang mga pawisang kamay. Tumigil ang pagbagsak ng tubig ulan sa bubong. Maski paghinga niya yata’y tumigil din.

Ang kaninang tuwa’y mas dumoble pa. Gusto niyang ngumiti, gusto niyang humalakhak ng wagas. Gusto niyang tumayo at lapitan ang taong iyon, saka niya ito yayakapin. Ngunit alam niyang hindi niya kayang gawin, at wala siyang karapatang gawin. Napatigil siya. “Sandali lang, teka.” Ang sabi niya sa kaniyang isipan. Hindi na dapat iyon ang kaniyang nararamdaman. Kaya mas pinili niyang pumikit na lamang.

Kakalimutan ang sandaling nagbigay sa kaniya ng pag-asa sa salitang “maaari”. 

Sa Robinsons Ortigas

Apat na metro pa ang layo, ngunit tanaw ko na ang tingin niya. Tatlong malalakas na kabog ang narinig ko sa kung saan. Luminga ng bahagya sa gilid ng kalsada, tahimik at walang ibang ingay kundi ang mahinahong andar ng mga sasakyan. Saan ito galing?

Ibinalik kong muli ang tingin sa unahan. Nakita kong nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin. Nakatingin nga ba siya sa akin? Hindi ako sigurado. Hindi ko siya kayang tingnan pabalik.

Ilang hakbang na lang ang layo, agad akong yumuko.

Ayokong makita ang tingin niyang nakakatunaw. Ang tingin niyang nagtatanong ng mga ‘bakit?’ at nagsasabi ng mga salitang ‘sinaktan mo ako ng sobra.’

Dalawang pitik ng kamay ang narinig, isang hakbang bago ko siya malampasan. Iniangat ko ang tingin at lumingon sa kanyang dako. Ngunit wala na akong naabutan. Ang tanging nakita ko na lamang ay ang likod niya, papalayo sa kung saan man ako nakatayo.

Biglang bumalik lahat.

Doon sa umagang puno ng ngiti, sa gabing may matatawag na kaunting kilig.

Sa mga araw na umaasang mamumunga ng maganda ang simulang walang kalinawan.

Sa mga usapang nabuo kahit na maraming pag-aalinlangan at ngayo’y nilimot na ng pagkakataon.

Sa panahong akala ko pareho naming natagpuan ang pag-ibig.

‘Hanggang ngayon ba?’

Tatlong salitang nagpaisip sa akin.

‘Alin?’

Alin nga ba? Hanggang ngayon ba ano?

Hanggang ngayon ba naiisip pa rin kita? Hanggang ngayon ba gusto pa rin kita? Hanggang ngayon ba umaasa pa rin ako? Hanggang ngayon ba ano? Ano?

‘Di ka na ba galit?’

Ang tangi kong nasabi pabalik. Limang salitang matagal ko nang gustong tanungin. Kung tutuusin ay iisang sagot lang ang makukuha. Oo o hindi, ngunit parehong sagot ay hindi na.

Iyan siguro ang gusto kong makuhang sagot mula sa kaniya.

Hindi ako malungkot. Hindi ako nalulungkot. Sa halip ay masaya ako, dahil alam kong unti-unti, maaari na kaming maging magkaibigan muli.

Trip trip Vlog (with hugot) 112617

And so, I’ve made my first Vlog with my friend, LG! It’s not a formal Vlog, and I don’t know if you can consider this as a Vlog (Hahaha natripan lang talaga namin, di ko alam e, how can you say it’s a Vlog na buh? xD), but I hope you can spare some time for this! This video is full of “hugot” (somehow ahaha), just so you know. Hihi.

And uh, medyo fail pa ako sa pag-edit. Nangangapa me sa premiere. :p

Ulap,

Namimiss na kitang kumustahin. May pagkakataon na gusto kitang makausap, pero alam kong walang pagkakataon. Kung meron man, masiyado kang busy sa ibang bagay. Hindi ko alam kung sinasadya mo ba, o baka talagang wala naman akong halaga sa’yo. Ilang beses akong sumubok na magreach out, pero ikaw ang lumayo. Minsan iniisip ko na lang ba baka kumakapit na lang ako sa ideyang may nararamdaman pa ako kahit wala naman talaga. Ideya na lang ang lahat. Itong pagsusulat ko tungkol at para sa’yo, ideya na lang. Baka ineenjoy ko lang ang moment na may isang tao pa akong maaaring sulatan, maaaring kumustahin. Siguro ineenjoy ko lang ang ganong konsepto. Na kahit hindi ko alam, may palihim na nagbabasa ng mga naiisip ko. Palihim mong nalalaman na naiisip kita.

Alam mo nga bang iniisip kita?

Marami akong dapat kaayawan sa’yo. Sa ngayon ay iyon lahat ang tinitignan ko para tuluyang maging malaya sa damdaming (pagiisip na) ito. Subalit kapag naaalala kita, kung paanong maaari namang magkaroon ng pagasa ang “tayo”, bigla kong nalilimutan ang mga panget na bagay at katangian na meron ka. Ewan ko ba. Matagal na akong nagpaalam ‘di ba?

Sa ngayon, masaya akong makita na masaya ka sa mga bagay na nakakamit mo. Masaya akong masulyapan ang maliliit na tagumpay na nagpapasaya at nagbibigay sa’yo ng pagasa. At mas masaya kung yung isang tagumpay na hinihintay ng lahat ay makamtan mo na. Alam kong darating ang panahon na mangyayari iyon.

Hanggang sa susunod, Ulap. Kung may susunod pa nga ba.

Reflections

I’m just trying to encourage myself thru this post, but this could be a help for someone too, maybe?

Sabi nila, mahirap itigil ang kinagawian na at masanay na wala a ito. But what if you really need to stop that old habits? It’s just like if you break up with your partner for years. You suddenly cut the connections, which you’re not used to because everyday kayong magkachat/text/usap before, but now you need to resist kahit na gustong gusto mo siyang kontakin uli. Or yung friend mo na palagi mong napupuntahan, nasasabihan, natatapik when you needed someone, however now hindi na masyado kasi you’re both busy. Or kapag nagsarado ang favorite coffee shop / restaurant na lagi mong pinupuntahan every after school/office or before going home. Even if it’s already closed, sometimes you find yourself walking on that street or driving towards that direction. Gano’n kasi ang kinasanayan mo. Applicable rin sa suot mong singing for years na nawala bigla. You feel that it is still there when in fact, wala naman na talaga. Just like i said, nasanay ka kasi e.

Mahirap masanay uli na hindi na gano’n ang nangyayari. It’s like, you’re back to zero, nangangapa ka. Parang hindi mo alam kung paano ka magsisimula, or paano mo sasanayin ang sarili mong wala na yung nakaugalian mo.

Mahirap din if you’re always at the top, then suddenly you’re crawling for survival. Hirap no’n, shet. Parang how come you’re at this point when you were soaring high at the beginning? Well, I think this is the unseen fact: ‘di mo napansin na nahirapan ka rin noong una before you reached the top. Maybe naging madali lang sa’yo na umakyat noon, siguro for the reason na gusto mo yung ginagawa mo kaya hindi mo napapansin na nahihirapan ka, or natural na madali kang matuto. Pero kung accurate yung pangalawa kong sinabi how come na hindi mo kayang gawin ngayon?

Heh, contradictory yata itong mga pinagsasabi ko. Pero ayun nga, kung nagawa mo dati, how come na hindi mo magawa-gawa ngayon? I think malaki talaga ang factor nung ginagawa m yung gusto mo, at hindi mo lang ginugusto yung ginagawa mo.

Or maybe, may process kasi. Uhm, I’d consider this more kaysa sa fact na maas napapadali kapag ang ginagawa mo is yung gusto mo. Maybe kasama sa process yung sobrang mahihirapan ka to the point na you’ll think of stopping it na lang kasi akala mo walang nangyayari. Wala kang nakikitang assurance sa halos lahat ng ginagawa mo. So, doubt will kick in and it will eat you up. You’ll be asking questions to yourself like, “tama pa ba?”, “worth it pa ba ang lahat?”, “itutuloy ko pa ba?”, “paano kung hindi naman pala ito yung dapat na ginagawa ko?” and a bunch of what if’s in your mind.

Tapos, wala pa ring makakasagot kaya lalo kang maloloka. You’d gone crazy sa mga thoughts mo. Overthinking will knock you out. Depression will come next. And ayun, ‘di ka na functional. See? Ang unhealthy ano? But yeah, it’s a process.

I’d like to say that there are no easy things in life, and it’s only hard at first. In time, when you successfully gone through that “process”, magiging madali na ang lahat para sa’yo. There will be doubts, yeah, but minimal na lang, especially when you have faith. Sabi nga ng isang friend:

“Faith is the assurance of things not seen.”

Hindi mo kakayanin ‘yang process kung wala si Lord. I am always forgetting na may ginagawa pala ang Lord. Hindi mo man nakikita pa, pero may ginagawa Siya. He’s putting us in downing situations to make us stronger. Lalo na yung faith natin sa Kanya. It’s also a way to remind us na we need Him. And kung ano man ang pinagdadaanan natin, nandito tayo kasi may purpose Siya.

He is still sovereign, and is still good, after all.

X.XVIII.XVII

For that short period of time i have felt alive.

Wore all those high hopes and smiles.

Got exhilarated every waking day,

With the thought that he was going to stay.

I would wait for his stares, every dismissal time,
and those timid smile he tries to hide.

My feelings got deep, i won’t even deny.

For every time i see him, I fly.

However, suddenly, it all stopped.
I guess we were both at fault, or not?

I’d like to think the timing’s not just right

And for now, this isn’t worth to fight.

The exchange of chats that kept me going;
The sending of random pictures and selfies;

The fighting over some nonsense things;

Those are the ones, perhaps, I’m gonna miss.

I should’ve held his hand sooner,
But I’m glad I got the chance to look at him closer.

Even though that moment, the silence won over,

that last day of August, I will surely treasure.

So now it’s time to say farewell,
For that something that was not really there.

Farewell to the chances we didn’t take.

Farewell to the love that was never made.

Mabuti pa ang mga bulag

Minsang naligaw sa isang lugar, hindi alam ang patutunguhan
nakatayo sa gitna ng kalsadang walang ibang laman
kundi ang sariling nagtataka
Makakausad pa nga ba?

Lumingon sa likod, may nakitang isang bulag
Walang masyadong bitbit, isang baston lang ang tangay.
Agad na lumapit, at saka nagtanong
“Ang daan na ito, alam niyo ba kung saan hahantong?”

Turo turo ang daanang malawak,
saka napagtantong bulag nga pala ang kausap
Ngunit ngumiti at sumagot ang bulag,
“Saan mo ba gustong magtungo, anak?”

“Kung saan may kaligayahan,” ang sagot sa isip.
Subalit may lugar pa bang gano’n na masisilip?
“Kung saan may pag-ibig,” ang nais isunod.
“Sa lugar kung saan walang sakit na dulot.”

“Bigo ka ba?” tanong nito bago pa makapagsalita.
At sa sinabi niyang iyon, napaisip ng bahagya.
“Minsan hindi mo talaga alam kung saan ka pupunta,
kapag ang puso mo na ang naligaw sa umpisa.”

“Saan ba ang punta niyo?” ang tanging naisagot
Tumikhim ang bulag, at saka napasimangot
“Wala akong ibang napupuntahan
Ang itsura ng mga lugar para sa akin ay pare-pareho lang naman.

Siya uli’y napangiti,
hindi nagtagal.
Tinapik ang brasong nanlalambot na sa pagal
At saka sinabing:
Subalit hindi ang nararamdaman.

“May lugar na mainit, may lugar na malamig.
May lugar na masigla, minsan puro pait.
Kung saan-saan mapapadpad, madalas maliligaw
pero ang mahalaga, kung sa paglalakbay, ikaw ba’y may natutunan?”

Para kay Ulap

Gano’n pala ang pakiramdam na mahawakan ang kamay mo. Doble ang init, mas malambot, kaysa kapag hawak ko siya sa aking panaginip. 

Gano’n pala ang pakiramdam na ihilig ang ulo mo sa balikat ko. Sa wakas, sumandal ka na rin sa akin, iyon yata ang unang pagkakataon. 

Pinaghalong amoy alak at pawis, malagkit na pagtama ng mga braso gawa ng mahigit limang oras na paglalagi mo sa labas, at ang tibok ng puso kong nagsusumigaw, ngunit pinipigilan, dahil baka bigla kang lumayo kapag ito’y iyong marinig. 

Isang salita para mailarawan ko ang naramdaman ko kagabi: magulo. 

Iyan pa rin ang pakiramdam ko hanggang ngayon kahit na nagkaroon ng kaunting linaw, dahil sinagot mo naman ang ilan kong katanungan kahit na hindi buo at madetalye ang mga ito. Natuwa ako at naintindihan mo. O baka dahil iisa tayo ng naiisip? Nararamdaman? Hala. Heto na naman ako sa pag-iisip ng mga ganitong bagay, ayoko na nga.

Ayoko na.

Pero gusto ko pa.

Pero ayoko… pa.

Siguro hindi pa ito ang tamang panahon. At hindi ko alam kung may tamang panahon nga ba sa bagay na ito, sa atin. Tae. Sa atin? 

Hindi. Sa akin.

Sa akin ang mas tugmang salita.

Hahayaan ko na lang muna ang panahon na magdikta ng lahat.

%d bloggers like this: