When will you leave permanently?

You never really fail to haunt me in my dreams. I’m always trying my best not to think of you before going to sleep but my subconcious mind is just as hardheaded as my heart. They never listen to me. They always find time to make me remember you.

Everytime I see my old notebooks, my heart will beat faster, remembering how long we’ve spent together as a high school and college students. Every time I scan old messages in facebook, there’s a part of my brain that tells me to look up and search for your name and see your profile, wanting to know how are you, if you still alive or what.

I should blame my eyes too, you know. Coz there’s still some times that even though I knew that you’ll never come to that place again, whenever I walk pass to that place, I’ll turn my head and stare at the people, hoping to find your face in the crowd. Heh, funny I know. I still look around for you.

I know we’re just friends. And I know that you didn’t like me and I know that I am not special to you and you like someone else but hey, this unrequited feelings is not that easy to throw away and forget like I didn’t feel it at all.

It’s funny to think that even though you treat me now as a stranger, I can’t help but to treat you as the only person I know. Now I want to ask you…

When will you leave permanently?

It doesn’t mean that I want you to go away and never show your face to me. But what I’m saying is… when will you leave my mind? When will you leave my heart? When will you leave in my memories?

Sigh, I badly want to forget you already like you did to me, to our friendship, to everything we had.

When will you leave permanently?


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