I didn’t really expected that something will happen to me that night. I actually planned to go to SM and see some books to read, but everything turned up side down, literally. My world turned upside down that night. It’s 6:10pm, the first highway accident of my life.
The last thing I remember, I bid good bye to my friend and started to walk. I was about to cross the wide highway, too. I’m on pedestrian, of course. And good thing, my friend has already left and didn’t saw me lying there, staring up the black sky and soon to lose my conscious. It’s weird, but I’m glad he already left.
And then, everything turned slow motion, just like in movies.
The next thing I knew, I was lying — lying on the wide highway, feeling numb and can’t hear anything. I started to tremble, thinking about my head. It’s the first one to hit the ground. I thought it was bleeding, but thank God it wasn’t. My vision was starting to go black too, but I needed to stay awake because I have no one to call for help. That’s what I thought. I’m afraid that the people around me might take my wallet and all my belongings while having no conscious. So I stayed awake, thinking random things.. just to know I’m still alive. I thought all of the names I know. I said it to myself… just to myself.
“God, Lord, Jesus Christ, help me.” I said. And I know he will.
I breathed in and out. Trying to move both my hands and my feet. I’m still lying on the ground. Afraid. Scared. Pitying myself. But none of them move. It’s like I’m in comma but hoping that I’m not. One girl approached me and asked me if I’m okay. I just nod.. though I know I’m not okay. Another girl went to me, she’s holding my eyeglass. I realized that I’m not wearing my glasses anymore. She gave me my glasses and I wore it, trying to sit down. But I can’t. So the first girl told someone to help me, and they all help me stand up. I cannot move my left foot. It hurts like hell. I thought it’s broken, but expecting that it’s not.
I was in shock. Poker face is the right term. My lips were aligned, my eyes were blinking, trying not to shed any tears. But I failed, I started to speak and bawled in front of them. “Call mommy please..” I said. And then, they carried me to the near Hospital.
One hour, I stayed there for one hour, silently crying and waiting for my relatives to come. The girl who brought me there was contacting someone. She stayed there with me until the daughter of the owner of the motorcycle who hit me came. I was silent. I did some multiplication tables, Addition, Subtraction, thinking names, events, and even the plots of the stories I read before the accident, I thought all of them. Just assuring myself that I don’t have amnesia or something. And I’m glad I don’t, only bruises and wounds, and a big lump on my head. I’m still lucky tho.. Coz I’m still alive and hopefully to kick soon. I still can’t move my left leg normally. ;)
My Daddy and my Sister came. I can’t paint their faces, they are worried that’s for sure. My daddy talked to the daughter of the culprit. And my sister was talking to me, she said that Mommy was worried sooo much. And I’m sure Mama will worry too if she knew. All of them were worried, my brother and my ate len came.
They did some X-rays to me. And I’m crying while they do that. My head hurts like hell and feeling cold. Someone injected me anti-tetanus, too. It aches.. like there’s a big ant in my two shoulders. The doctor said I can go home, and I’m glad. I don’t want to be admitted, and there’s no reason too. We rode a taxi and went home. My daddy went to the precinct and talked to the one who did this to me. My niece and nephews are all shouting my name when I came home, they looked happy when they saw me. I smiled… They’re weird. But I’m happy… to know that they care for me and love me.
And because of that accident, I realize that I’m afraid to forget, and to be forgotten even though I thought of having an amnesia sometimes; I realize that I’m afraid of death, too. And I’m planning to live for as long as I can, for the people I love, and for myself as well.