Even though 2012 brought many problems and difficulties to each and every people of the World, including you who’s reading this (if there is) and including me, I know that there was one or two things you realized and learned from the mistakes you’ve done and from the unexpected things that had happened this year. I’m glad, thankful and blessed with what 2012 has given me. You know, there are many things that 2012 has taught me, esp. this three.
2012 Taught me…
How to be strong. I admit, that there were times that I wanted to give up. And yes, I have problems (Who doesn’t?) and personal issues that only myself know , and I want to quit. I want to end it. I want my problems to be vanished.. But it’s not just a normal way of thinking how to escape into that big manhole of depression I was at. And instead of finding ways how to solve my problems, I end up thinking how to die. Yes, suicide. I thought of that many times. I thought that if I die, my problems will be gone and I don’t have to think of anything and anyone anymore, I don’t need to experience disappointments and rejections, and frustrations won’t come to me. But of course, all problems have solutions. You just need to find the best way to overcome the obstacles you’re experiencing. Just like I did. I don’t know how.. but it has a connection to THAT Man above. He never left me and he never will. ☺
How to accept failure. Yes, I’ve tried hard but didn’t succeed. I know, I know, it’s too early to say this and I’m too young to feel this. But I felt so many frustrations in the past few weeks, months and years. I failed to do what I actually planned, that’s why I prefer not to do some planning anymore because it will bring much disappointments if won’t happen, right? Soooo, yeah. I accepted it. That THAT THING, even though I tried hard, will never be mine. (yeah whatever that is I’m saying) I’m now letting Him lead me the way to my success.
How to endure pain and how to let go. I’ve been in love with the same guy for almost two and a half years since 2010, and take note: We’re friends. And that means, I was “friendzoned” before and experienced unrequited love a few times. It’s hard, I must say, but the feeling was good. I loved crying every night, thinking if he could see me like I do and if he could return the feelings I have for him. I liked every heartaches that I felt every time he says the name of the love of his life. I loved it, I liked it. I endured the pain. But there came a time that I gave up and told to myself that I don’t deserve to be like that and there’s so many things I need to give more attention to. So I managed to forget about the feelings, stop all of the illusions, and bear not to see him the way I used to even though we’re together almost every day. And, I succeed. I realized that we can really learn the process of moving on and letting go.
Tbh, 2012 was awesome. Many good things happened in my life, some unexpected happenings came and sweet moments & memories were created. And I’m hoping for my new year (2013) to be much better.
And to you readers (if there is), who have always been here even though I seldom post something inspirational and with sense, who supported me by liking each and every posts that I made, and who stayed with me since my first time here in WordPress, I want to thank all of you before 2012 ends. And there’s a little advise I want to make…
If you want to give up, if you can’t accept failure, if you want to move on and let go, If you have problems, just keep faith. Don’t stop hoping. Be strong. You’ll get over it someday… just like I did.