I DIDN’T

*sigh*

Today, we watched again the presentation that I made for the burial of my lola. As usual, Kiko, Habibi, (my pamangkin’s) and I cried. Especially the part when we saw the pictures on how she suffered from the hospital.

My lola is very fashionable when it comes to clothes. She likes wearing high heels and put some accessories. She wanted to look even more beautiful in front of everybody at all times that’s why she always put some make up on her face even though she’s only at home. I remember when she saw my little-tiny mirror. She said to me abruptly that she also want to have a mirror like mine. I said, OK, I will buy you some… But then, I didn’t. *sigh*

My lola liked my drawings so much. Every time I draw or sketch something, my lola always says… “oh izang, ang galing galing mo talagang magdrawing, apong! pwede bang akin na lang ‘to para ipakita ko naman sa mga kaibigan ko sa veterans?!”… and I always say, “sige lola kapag natapos ko ‘to…” but then again, I didn’t.

One more, whenever I am at the comfort room, she used to knock at the door and then tell me… “izang, dalian mo apong. Nababanyo na ‘ko. Lumabas ka muna at magtapis saglit, sige na apong…”. But then I pretended that I didn’t hear anything…. and again, I DIDN’T open the door and hear her please…

There were so many things that I didn’t do for my lola. I always object consistently when she says something she wanted *sigh*. Now that she’s gone, I realized the things I should have done for her. The things that I should have payed attention to… The things that I should have known for her to be happy. But I didn’t… :(

I miss my lola so much.. :(

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5:52pm :D

Yipee.. :p I feel so happy yesterday, not only because I sang at WOF together with my friends (It’s normal) but also because he called at me through phone at exactly 5:52pm. yey. :P (why am I so happy about it?) hmm… I really, really miss him that much! That’s why, I thought… (I wish I could tell it to him but I don’t have enough courage to do that.. :( ). I am afraid that he might laugh at me when I say that and also afraid to be rejected by him. *sigh*

I was so nervous at first but I didn’t know why my mouth kept on saying so many words to him. The time suddenly stopped at that very moment for me. I miss being with HIM… I miss all about him. I miss his voice, his way of how he calls my name, his smile, and everything. I miss HIM… *sigh* wish it didn’t end. But I’m still happy though it only last for a minute or two.I was so glad that he still keeping in touch in that way even though it happened only now since our last communication end for about months ago.